heart of JOY

In 1.5 school days I lose the title first year teacher.

In 100+ days my 15 kids have taught me a lot about life. I am forever grateful for the year I have experienced with these kids. I am thrilled even to say that I made it this far. In the days leading up to this last week of school, I never thought I would be emotional. BUT I think I wouldn't be giving glory where glory is due if I didn't look back on this year and praise the Lord for being my success.

I remember going into this year full of fear and wonder. Questioning my adequacy in front of 15 kids...but the beauty of the 15 kids that the Lord placed in my classroom is they love me for me. These kids have taught me what it means to love. Not that I loved them perfectly, or even very well some days, but they truly loved me each day and showed me what that really looks like.

Each teacher at Life Way assigns each of their kids a "character trait" that they lived up to throughout the year. This was definitely the hardest part of my job. I had to think back on this year and figure out what trait they exemplified through the year. Now that I have assigned them, I just have to present them and try to maintain my composure. So we'll see how that goes.

The Lord did SUCH great things this year. My heart is so full. So much joy fills me when I look back on this year. I have been blessed by this bunch.

Grace and Peace.

May?!

Unbelievable. It is May 1st. In honor of good ol' May Day, I'm blogging to give you a peak into the life of Clara for the past month and a half.

First of all, I can't believe that in 20 school days I will no longer have the title of "First Year Teacher." I have high hopes that losing the title will cut my doctor visits in half....but we'll just have to wait and see.

In the past month and a half I have:

• become plugged into an awesome group at Fellowship
• gone to the doctor twice
• gotten a shot and 2 different prescriptions
• given standardized tests (and skipped an entire section...thank you ear infection)
• laughed a lot with my kiddos
• helped coach a varsity softball team
• found a roommate for next year

I am so excited to see what these 20 days have in store for me. The Lord continues to prove daily how faithful He always is. Just because I am so weak, I welcome that little reminder.

I've really enjoyed the church I've found myself plugged in to. SUCH a great group of girls make up my community group, and I love soaking in the wisdom that is poured out each week. The Lord shows me His faithfulness in the sweet words He speaks through that group of people.

On Saturday evenings we're going through the book of James. LOVE THAT. Specifically, because James really challenges me to pray with expectancy, and challenges me with the importance of a prayerful life. (This is something I lose sight of...so it's nice to be drawn back into reality)  Chip, the pastor really challenged me with a pretty simplistic statement, but a huge challenge nonetheless..."What fault do we find in the Lord that we follow and fill our time with worthless idols?"...I think the wind was kicked out of me...mainly because this semester has been SO BUSY, I needed to hear that, to really level my thinking and re-evaluate the things I'm filling my time with.

When Chip asked this question he was referencing Jeremiah 2:5 where the Lord is asking the Israelites what he had done to provoke His people to leave Him and pursue gods that made them feel empty. The Israelites were totally disregarding the Lord- the Lord who redeemed them in the Exodus and preserved them while in the wilderness...the Lord protected them and they disregard it all in search of "the next best thing..."

I found myself sitting in my chair, almost in tears, frantically going through my day to day life re-evaluating the 24 hours I'm blessed with each day. Is the Lord honored? Just a thought, that will fill my thoughts this week. :)

So, yeah. I'm off to eat some strawberry pie and prepare for the trip to the state softball tournament in the morning. Here we go. :)

Grace.

Honesty

Spring Break starts in 8 hours. I. am. so. excited!!! I will be in Kansas City enjoying my friends and family that I have been away from for far too long. It will be a great week. This week I had to give the devotion for the staff at school. If I could choose a crowd to speak in front of, they would be a lot younger (i.e. 4th graders) but I was so blessed by the people I get to work with each day. It went SO well!


The Lord has been challenging my lately with honesty. Not that I go around telling lies to anyone who will listen- but I do mask who I am at time...and why? My faith community isn't to be a place where I hide my brokenness and strive for perfection. A perfect person has never crossed the threshold of that place. We should be able to share our sin and receive so much love from our church, because we do from Jesus.

I am just humbled by all of the stuff Jesus dealt with in the Bible that wasn't glamorous. He dealt with prostitution, murder...My 4th graders talked about how there are bad things in the Bible too, and it's okay! We get the opportunity to learn from Moses killing a guy. BUT even in those times Jesus came with love, tenderness, and TACT. Something I strive for. To be like Jesus so I can be a comforting friend when hard things happen. Jesus quiets us with His love...He doesn't shout.

Love, not judgment, goes before a changed life. Brokenness, not perfection, goes before a changed life. Who wouldn't tell Someone who would love you into wholeness about every secret, mistake and hope you've ever had?

I am thankful I serve a Lord who loves me into wholeness.

Enjoy today!

Dreamer

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

--Jeremiah 29:11

I am a dreamer. Since this is true, I struggle with dreaming about what is to come. I find myself wishing away the time between now and the next big "thing" in my life. I wish away today to seek out what tomorrow and the next day might bring...

I'm realizing that no matter what my future is bringing. No matter how exciting tomorrow is. No matter how wonderfully exciting next week might seem. Today is the only chance I get to live in the day I dreamed of 3 years ago.

My heart is humbled.

So if I think this to be true, Jeremiah 29:11 gives me a lot of hope for today, and a promise of good things for now.

Enjoy today!

Radiance

...and they shall be radiant over 

the goodness of the Lord.

Jeremiah 31:12

so good.

Snow, Snow, Snow.

I haven't been here in a while, but I am here now. I hope this allows you to look past the lack of posting since my ode to the New Year. Actually, this is a poor excuse because all I have been looking at for what seems like an eternity is this:





Which is a wonderful time to either go cabin-fever crazy, cook a lot, or spend time reflecting on what the Lord is doing in my life.

Truthfully, I've done the latter 2 because I don't really mind being in my apartment. (where it is warm, and less dangerous than the untreated streets of NWA) I'm an independent lady and really love the quiet (I think this is really called being an introverted hermit but "independent lady" has a classier ring to it.)

I have also learned that the key to a successful snow day is: equal parts coffee and snow. I know this sounds a little absurd, but there are only so many things that can make a week of snow days productive.

Anyway...

Sunday at church our pastor talked about the ministry of the Holy Spirit. We looked at John 16. We started by looking at v. 5-6 which describes the uncertainty the disciples are feeling about their future and what their life was going to be subject to. At this point Jesus is having a conversation with the disciples and explaining that He is returning to the Father...they aren't concerned with Jesus- and by what method He will return to the Father, but more so what their livelihood will amount to without Him.

Step back (putting myself in their sandals): I, in my selfish nature, have always been worried about the disciples too. Why should I wonder where my Savior is going? Why should I wonder how He got there? He can take care of Himself. I am more concerned with Him leaving Me to face it 'alone'.

So I sat in my seat at church on Sunday--humbled. I was reminded that my Parakletos is here. I'm not alone. I have a Savior that left so that a Helper could come. I was reminded that my relationship with the Lord should not be chalked up to the number of "mountain top experiences" or "high time" interactions with the Holy Spirit - but my time with Him should be steady because of my obedience to the Word of God.

To walk by the Spirit is to live with moment by moment dependency on and sensitivity to the initial prompting of the Holy Spirit. -Charles Stanley

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Galatians 5:25

Enjoy today!

Here's to 2011

I have this really bad habit of writing a blog, reading it, deleting...and repeating the offense. It's hard for me to decide what I want to type for the world to see.

Conveniently, with this time of year comes topic after topic of:
-renewal
-new beginnings
-starting over
-fresh starts...
-etc.

Whatever phrase you have coined to signify this time of year; the one thing I see to be a constant after the rush of the holidays is a time of starting over, vowing to make this year better than the rest...better year, better you...then it typically not working out and 365 days later we're at it again.

What if we took each day that the Lord blesses us with, and allowed Him to work through us to make each day better than the day before, for His glory? What if we took each day and let the Lord stretch us, and use us in a different way than the day before? I am confident that each day would be completely different than the previous, and the Lord would be glorified. What if we looked at each situation in our life, good or bad- and gave glory to our Lord's sovereignty without asking why?

I am excited to know that in my inadequacy the Lord still sees good in me. I am excited to know that my passions are being revealed to me each day as I set foot into room 4B. I am absolutely thrilled to know that the Lord loves through me each day. Humbled to know that my own strength is worthless always, but especially in front of 15 4th graders.

In this moment I feel really blessed to be where I am. I have never been a very emotional person, but I have noticed that when in pursuit of a relationship with the Lord, I can't help but show emotion at His glory revealed to me through His word, sweet friends, and the most special 4th graders I know.

The Lord blessed me with a lot in 2010:
-graduation from college
-sweet summer at YouthFront
-unbelievable job in ARKANSAS
-new friends
-fun new apartment
-new sister

SO MUCH NEW!

Here's to 2011, and the Lord revealing Himself to me with each morning cup of coffee.

Enjoy today!