I'm on a blogging kick...

I really do love the idea of blogging, but I hate the idea of sitting down and blogging. I think I may focus less on extravagant blogs full of what I am learning. Instead, I think I will post shorter, more frequent posts with snippets of things that have been good for my soul.

And even when I fall I'll get back up

For the joy that overflows my cup.

Grace.

A New View of the Cross...

I haven't been here in a while. I have come to the conclusion that I am more of a blog-reader than a blog-writer. That is probably evident by the lack of posts, but my heart is FULL and I have been learning a lot, I can't help but share.

During this Easter season my heart has been GRIPPED with a view of the cross that looks much different to me than it ever has before. It's funny, because even as I write this, reflecting more, I am on the verge of tears because it has been such a revealing season for my heart. I am learning. I am being stretched. I am having to trust. All things I thought I had experience in surplus before, and perhaps I have, but right now it seems to be happening when I turn each corner.

I have been reading through the Scriptures this year. Right now I am knee-deep in the Old Testament. I have spent a lot of time reading through rule after rule after rule on the pages of the Old Testament, and my heart has been stirred.

As I approached the Easter season, I, of course, was filled with a thankful heart as I thought of the unthinkable, selfless act my Savior made for me. Upon further examination of the cross, and after reading through the Old Testament - my view has forever been changed. I've always known the rules the Old Testament presented, but something about reading them during the Easter season really did a number on my view of the cross.

The veil was torn and a New Covenant has become reality for me. Such a sacrifice.

Then tonight, as I continue to read, there have been a few days of the psalms that I am reading. As I read through Psalm 77, I couldn't stop reading over and over verse 4 "You hold my eyelids open"...and while the context isn't one of a super joyful Psalmist, I am finding SO MUCH joy, because I can't help but think about what Jesus does for me - he holds my eyelids open so I can see what He is doing for me yesterday, today, and forever - and that is my view of the cross today. A Savior who suffered so that a veil could be torn, so that freedom would be my reality and that He could open my eyes so that I could try to understand His sacrifice.

Grace.

Fall!

Today is my favorite kind of fall day. Overcast, cool breeze, and trees adorning the most vibrant fall colors you have ever seen. I'm also quite fond of the faint scent of bon fire you can smell when the breeze blows strong enough.

This season I have been blessed with a lot of time to think, meditate on, and be encouraged by the Lord and where I currently am in life.

I am leading a Community Group through the Single's Ministry at my church (www.fellowshipnwa.org) and could not be more encouraged each week. We have been walking through Joseph's story as told in Genesis. It has been a sweet time as we hash out hard topics, hear each other's hearts and truly seek the Lord in the scriptures while applying them to our own unique circumstances. My heart is full each Wednesday. The theme of reconciliation and restoration is prevalent in the story, and HUGE in our own lives EACH DAY.

This past Wednesday we walked through the part of the story when Joseph reveals his identity to his brothers after ALL OF THESE YEARS. For years they have lived with the idea that they have no idea where their younger brother ended up, and also have lived with the guilt of saddening Jacob's heart over losing his favorite son.

The sweetest part of this story, to me, is Joseph's reaction in forgiving. I don't think he diminished what his brother's did in selling him into slavery - BUT he saw God's purpose in it all was greater than the evil of his brothers. God used Joseph's sorrows to use him and his family and provide the conditions for his family to become a nation! God turned it for His glory. There was no loss.

I am so thankful for the message of reconciliation and restoration in this story. In fact, in this season, there is SO much to be thankful for.

Through the busy-ness this season brings, may we not hold on to trivial circumstances, but like Joseph, may we look past, and realize what it truly means to love those who persecute us...AS we love ourselves.

Be Still.

The society we live in today isn't a quiet one. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We are fast-paced when we move, and we move a lot. I've been challenged recently with a huge desire to find the quiet in each day and truly be still before the Lord. I want to find myself in a state of mind where this becomes ordinary in my life.

The Lord is teaching me to say no. To put Him first, and my social life second. I spend 98% of my week surrounded by people, and the fast pace of life. I'm finding as the days sprint by that I need the quiet to maintain my sanity, but more importantly so that my mind is quiet enough to hear what the Lord has for me.

I think we lose sight of who God is, because we aren't still enough to notice all that He is to us...all that He does for us.

I am reminded today, with the change in seasons, the stillness of leaf-less trees. No rustle in the wind, and while the branches still sway, there is less movement with the loss of those leaves. I feel the same thing true in my life. If I would let go of some of the things that keep me so busy, and just sit before the Lord, being still just might be a little bit easier.

"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

Peace.

Update.

I owe you an apology. I was reminded this past weekend while spending it with my dearest friends from college, that I haven't updated in quite some time. I'm not going to vow to be a better blogger because I know how that will go....

My first year of teaching is over, and my second year is in full swing. I have 11 students -- 7 boys and 4 girls. Can you believe it? It's quite nice and quite productive. All because "...He who promised is faithful."

I love my class. I love my time here. The Lord is providing for my needs. I am leading a community group and staying really busy. After a wonderful summer of community I knew I wouldn't survive in a situation where community wasn't a big part of it. I am part of a wonderful community because "...He who promised is faithful."

Each morning I am reminded of Hebrews 10:23 -- "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful."

I love the end..."he who promised is faithful."

Faithful to:

• place me in wonderful community
• bless me with a new house and roommate
• answer my prayers
• bring me to my knees 
• pick me up from my knees
• send people to my house to fix my car so I can drive to Bolivar

He is faithful, I am thankful.

My community group is going through the life of Joseph. I am really enjoying this journey we are on, as we take a deeper look at the path Joseph went down. To this point in the semester we have gone through Genesis 37 and 39.

The conversation has been fruitful, and I have learned so much from my new friends. This is all because"...He who promised is faithful."

heart of JOY

In 1.5 school days I lose the title first year teacher.

In 100+ days my 15 kids have taught me a lot about life. I am forever grateful for the year I have experienced with these kids. I am thrilled even to say that I made it this far. In the days leading up to this last week of school, I never thought I would be emotional. BUT I think I wouldn't be giving glory where glory is due if I didn't look back on this year and praise the Lord for being my success.

I remember going into this year full of fear and wonder. Questioning my adequacy in front of 15 kids...but the beauty of the 15 kids that the Lord placed in my classroom is they love me for me. These kids have taught me what it means to love. Not that I loved them perfectly, or even very well some days, but they truly loved me each day and showed me what that really looks like.

Each teacher at Life Way assigns each of their kids a "character trait" that they lived up to throughout the year. This was definitely the hardest part of my job. I had to think back on this year and figure out what trait they exemplified through the year. Now that I have assigned them, I just have to present them and try to maintain my composure. So we'll see how that goes.

The Lord did SUCH great things this year. My heart is so full. So much joy fills me when I look back on this year. I have been blessed by this bunch.

Grace and Peace.

May?!

Unbelievable. It is May 1st. In honor of good ol' May Day, I'm blogging to give you a peak into the life of Clara for the past month and a half.

First of all, I can't believe that in 20 school days I will no longer have the title of "First Year Teacher." I have high hopes that losing the title will cut my doctor visits in half....but we'll just have to wait and see.

In the past month and a half I have:

• become plugged into an awesome group at Fellowship
• gone to the doctor twice
• gotten a shot and 2 different prescriptions
• given standardized tests (and skipped an entire section...thank you ear infection)
• laughed a lot with my kiddos
• helped coach a varsity softball team
• found a roommate for next year

I am so excited to see what these 20 days have in store for me. The Lord continues to prove daily how faithful He always is. Just because I am so weak, I welcome that little reminder.

I've really enjoyed the church I've found myself plugged in to. SUCH a great group of girls make up my community group, and I love soaking in the wisdom that is poured out each week. The Lord shows me His faithfulness in the sweet words He speaks through that group of people.

On Saturday evenings we're going through the book of James. LOVE THAT. Specifically, because James really challenges me to pray with expectancy, and challenges me with the importance of a prayerful life. (This is something I lose sight of...so it's nice to be drawn back into reality)  Chip, the pastor really challenged me with a pretty simplistic statement, but a huge challenge nonetheless..."What fault do we find in the Lord that we follow and fill our time with worthless idols?"...I think the wind was kicked out of me...mainly because this semester has been SO BUSY, I needed to hear that, to really level my thinking and re-evaluate the things I'm filling my time with.

When Chip asked this question he was referencing Jeremiah 2:5 where the Lord is asking the Israelites what he had done to provoke His people to leave Him and pursue gods that made them feel empty. The Israelites were totally disregarding the Lord- the Lord who redeemed them in the Exodus and preserved them while in the wilderness...the Lord protected them and they disregard it all in search of "the next best thing..."

I found myself sitting in my chair, almost in tears, frantically going through my day to day life re-evaluating the 24 hours I'm blessed with each day. Is the Lord honored? Just a thought, that will fill my thoughts this week. :)

So, yeah. I'm off to eat some strawberry pie and prepare for the trip to the state softball tournament in the morning. Here we go. :)

Grace.